As I approach 25 years of sobriety, I remember a statement I made in early sobriety about the idea of a Higher Power. While chairing my first AA meeting at 1 year of sobriety, yes once upon a time you had to wait a year before you had something to say, i said, "someone or something has more in store for me than i can possibly imagine". I thought at the time I had quite the imagination, but it all seemed so far away from possibility. There are things that have happened and are part of my life today that were not in the realm of imagination. I continue to look forward to what is to come.

One year before this meeting I was 20 years old, had no job, had no money, had no place to live,  was a college drop-out,  was a convicted felon, had been emancipated from my family,  was sitting in a jail cell for the 3rd time waiting for my court date. I was being charged with my second felony and facing 10-15 years.

Today at 45 and Sober for 25 Years. I have a wife and two kids who have never seen me pick up a drink, I finished college. I entered a plea of guilty to the second felony and after just two years of sobriety the judge said " the person in front of me today is no longer the person that committed these crimes and therefore can not be held accountable" Today I am working on getting the first conviction expunged. Part of me would like to keep as I have no regrets, so lets say i am not working all that hard on it. I have my entire family back in my life. I  have created multiple companies and in doing so created many jobs for others. I have completed 3 Ironman's , 3 Marathons and countless smaller races. I give back to my community on a regular basis. I am purpose driven. I have a few longterm amazing friends and am quite sure I will never stop doing what I love to do.

Having always been a closet fan of Tony Robbins my entire adult life and never having seen him in person, To celebrate I am going to a live 4 day long Event called Unleash The Power Within from Feb 27-March 2 in Florida. I look forward to the experience and what is to follow. Heres looking forward to an even more amazing next 25 year, I am just getting warmed up. Anything is Possible.

My struggle with Discipline

I have struggled with this my entire life.

If you by chance read some of my workout posts, you would most likely have a hard time understanding or believing that I have a hard time with Discipline. Its just never really been my thing. Not sure if ADD is in play (although there are clear signs), not sure if it is just my form of self defeating procrastination and lack of a strong Executive functioning frontal cortex, but it is an issue for sure.

I have systems in place and routines set up around a lot of things in my life, but when the systems are not followed and the routine is left behind, i can just wander with no intent or purpose in all directions. It can happen at the drop of a hat, (oh look squirrel ).

What does work for me is a plan, a hard core plan that has well defined end goals, meticulously defined daily action items and an accountability coach or group to hold me in check. I have this from Boulder Coaching for my triathlon workouts and its as easy as wake up, follow the plan and go. the workouts are emailed to me daily and they are custom to my current abilities and goals. All i have to do is the work to get them done,not having to think about what to do next is the difference.

I have struggled with weight for a very long time,i love to eat junk food, i love fried foods, cookies, red meats, chips and all that other good stuff way way too much. I have no discipline in this area for long periods of time and if it were not for my workouts, i would be 250 lbs. for sure. At 210 lbs., I look like I'm in good shape, but a healthy BF% and weight would have me at or around 185-190 for sure.

I have tried nutritionist who just wanted to educate me, school was never my thing. I like to learn from doing. I have found someone that will provide me with strict meal plans of real foods that I have to prepare and I am so excited. tell me specifically what to do and its easy for me for some reason.

There are at least 2 other areas in my life that also need thins kind of discipline, that would make things so much better and on purpose. I will report on those when I have found the right fit and comfort level.

For me it's now becoming more about how on purpose I am living my life, how on target to living a life focused on what matters most. While I have work to do, thats ok as I have always followed the notion of C.A.N.I from Tony Robbins that means constant and never ending improvement.

What things are holding you back? Where could you use some guidance and support.

I am really not that Important

It's only been a week since i put an end to all phone use while driving my car. I have been guilty for a very long time for talking without a headset, texting back and forth while at full speed in all places. reading and sending emails as well as reading and sending Facebook posts.

It's been like an addiction for sure as if i needed the fix at all times or something would happen. I could drive from health club to my home, a distance of around 10 miles in 15 minutes and send multiple texts, read an email or two and check back and forth between FB, email like i was waiting for the most important info in the world to come thru.

I wanted to be responsive when needed, I thought I was being productive by getting it all out of the way before i got back to the office or to an appointment, I chalked it up to being good at multi tasking and was quite proud of my abilities.

There have been a handful of close calls, that shook me some for sure. Nothing, however really caught my attention and drove me to give it some real thought until last week.

I have not been any less in touch with the world while driving, I have not lost any time as a result of having to send those emails, texts and posts later. truth is the world is going to continue just fine without my live and in the moment posts, friends will wait or call if texting isn't working and emails are better handled in batches at the start/middle and end of day anyways.

I sometimes feel like I am so very important. I run a small company that puts millions of dollars worth of retail products in stores across the Northeast, I am responsible for creating 14 current full-time jobs for amazing people. I have a wife and two kids that I support and am devoted to. I have tons of family and friends that I keep in contact with. I have inspired many to do amazing things with their personal and professional life and continue to do this today.

Truth is I am responsible to way more than just myself, and at the end of the day as far as my addiction issues to being connected, I am just not that important to risk it anymore. I have enjoyed the quick process of getting over myself, for some that can take a while.

P.S. using a blue tooth headset, just makes you look like a douce. I'll use my apple headset to talk quickly if you call me and its near me, or i'll pull over.

Boston Marathon 2011

April 18, 2011 was shaping up to be an amazing day in Boston. I was going to be running in my second Boston Marathon and had quite a few friends that were in it for their first ever marathon. I was so very excited for my friends David Hauser, Greg Moran & Brad Giles and was so happy to be a part of their dreams coming true.

Sadly, i never got to see my friend Brad who travelled all the way from Perth to be in this race. I did however meet up with David and Greg in the early morning to catch the bus out to Hopkinton from the Boston Common. It was a bright and sunny and very chilly morning on the common, but with good conversation and the anticipation of what the next few hours would bring, time seem to fly by. Our Bus driver was in it to win it it seemed, we passed at least 20 busses on the way out to 495 and that had to put a good feeling in everyone.

Athletes Village was as packed as ever with some 25,000 runners relaxing on their blankets, staying warm with our many layers and getting our last food and drink down before it was time to head to the corrals. Music is blasting, vendors are sharing their goods, free food and drink is available in the tents and the lines to the can were not that bad. All in all it was a good experience.

Giddy up time as we stripped a few layers, packed our warm clothes bag for the busses to take them to boston and headed to the starting line for our 10:40 wave three start. Its just a .7 mile walk down the street from the athletes village and as you come to downtown Hopkinton as far as you can see left and right there are runners in the street getting ready to make it happen. My watch is set, shoes are tied, nutrition is balanced, system is ready and i am in the mood for a great run. Loved being at the start with David, Greg, Judy, Karen and others.

Gun goes off and i say good-bye to the gang, my plan was to run 8:40-9:00 minute miles and with Karen as my pacer we were off. This year in the early 2-3 miles to run that pace required zig-zagging , weaving and a bit shoulder bumping, but we were holding a good pace that felt easy. It was early in these first few miles that i could sense something wrong with my Right big toe. I changed my stride a bit to not push off with the inside of my foot so much and it felt a bit better. Downside was that after a few miles of that i could feel a sharp pain brewing in my hip flexors and i down a few advil to calm that feeling.

The self talk started early and it seemed to just take a lot out of my sails, I was running at a good pace but it just didn't feel right and i was not smiling as much as i usually do. Concentrating on just keeping pace, nutrition, water at stops and salt tabs seemed to occupy most of my time and thoughts and before i knew it we were approaching Wellesley and could hear the screams of the girls wanting a few extra kisses today than they normally get. Today i stayed to the left of the street and just focused on the run as i had a great 1/2 going and wanted to cross 13.1 in the 1:55 area. Right on plan and now the goal was to run a negative split and run the back 1/2 in 1:50 ish.

around mile 16 there is a Starbucks at the base of the hill that nobody ever gives any respect, its a long slow climb toward Newton and here is where the mechanics failed and it was all i could do to slow to a walk to get a better sense of what was going on. IT band was tight, Hips were blasted and toe was just throbbing with every step. Worst off I knew that if i didn't get it back 100% that the 3:45 time was not going to happen. I told myself that getting injured this early in the season was not an option and so it would be OK to walk a bit. withen 2 minutes i was back to running as just over the hill i knew i would see my family and get to kiss my wife, kids, mom and some friends. It was so awesome to see them there having a goodtime. I knew it was going to be a different back half and let them know that i would be a bit late getting it done and off we went.

Karen was sticking with me the whole time and i am so greatful to have had her do this with me again. at the 30k mark i was now running and walking and i was giving up on the possibility of breaking 4:00. Walking was lasting longer and getting the legs to run again after each walk was getting harder and harder for the both of us. I was determined to finish and was going to do it with a smile on my face. heartbreak hill was a long slow walk this year, but i expected to run the flats and downhills. The flats however started to feel like huge up hills in my Hips and the pain was unreal, really WTF was going on?

Between 35k and 40K it was a long slow walk that i saw 4:00 go away, my last years time go away and was now just trying to muster the strength to finish strong and was trting to figure out how far i could run this one last try and when it would be ok to start again. I wanted to run the last mile, but nope wasnt happening. I walked past the crowds in Kenmore and to the underpass of Mass ave and then gave it all i had to run up Hereford and make that finial left on Boylston. 800 yards to go seemed like a million miles away, i ran past my family without seeing them. I was focused on the big blue banner and getting to it with a smile on my face. Finishing this time was just as amazing as the last for sure, the time no longer mattered.

Now i wanted three things, get my potato chips, get my phone to check on friends splits and find my family. Salty chips taste some damn good after that run. My friends were not far behind me and i was going to be able to see them soon. I thought about waiting for them on the course and finishing with them, but with no clue where they were i opted out of that idea. Greg finished shortly after and not to long after that David crossed the line. Brad had a kickass time of 3:50 with a 10 minute medical stop and Tony busted out a 4:01 run running sick as a dog.

I was so happy to see my family, they had had a much better experience this year moving around the course and had even gotten out to Boylston to see me go by. I got to meet up with the proud family of Greg Moran and then David Hauser and his family.

What a great experience once again on so many levels, I am so looking forward to doing this again in 2013.

Give it away to keep it.

As the EO Boston learning Chair, I have had an amazing opportunity to be in front of some great speakers and learning events. It was great to be able to plan the years learning agenda, decide who was going to come speak to the chapter, work with the speakers before hand and everything else that goes along with making these events happen. If it were not for the great work of Caryn Saitz, it all would have just been a well intentioned plan however and much thanks goes out to her for making all these great things happen.

One of my metrics was to have two events around a charity. We had not done this for a while, and i wanted to be part of giving back. We worked with Genesis Fund and sponsored part of YAZ day at Fenway and our chapter members stepped up to volunteer at The Boston Food Bank. There is an extra event happening at the end of april as we sponsor Genesis Fund and their newest event to be held at FourKicks, Family Fun Day. That just sounds like a good time waiting to happen.

It been a pleasure to bring some amazing learning events such as Howard Schultz from Starbucks, Jack Daly on Sales, Mark Moses on Strategy, Analytics training at Google, EO 24 @Scvngr, Book signing with Tony Hsieh of Zappos, Behind the sceens of the Boston Breakers, Four Seasons University and more still to come. Karen Smyers on life as a professional athlete, EO Boston Sprint Triathlon, Sell your business for millions with Christine Comaford, Mastering the Rockefeller Habits workshop and EO Nerve.

I wanted to do this role for selfish reasons, there were people that I wanted to see. What happened is that we created a truly amazing line up of great speakers, fun personalities, great take home content, fun family experiences and so much more for so many people. I got far more out of seeing others have a good time while they got some good take away, than I could have ever imagined for myself.

One of my greatest passions is sharing with others the things I like to do. I got to do this for a full year on a number of different levels and it was so very rewarding. Thank you for the great opportunities there are in life, I am fortunate to have these experiences. I gave away a little time and got it back times 10 for sure.

Doing the right thing

I am getting ready to run the Boston Marathon for the second time and doing it this year for an amazing foundation. Check out this video to meet the cool kid and his great mom, I got to meet this weekend at a 3 hour indoor fundraising bike ride at BSC- Lexington.

It is awesome to be raising money for the Family Reach Foundation and such an honor to meet directly the people that are being helped in their time of need. Please help give to this great cause. CLICK HERE to donate.

Check out this other video to see Mikalo's full story, what a great kid.

I was inspired by the overwhelming amount of love and support that was shown to my neighbor as she kicked cancers ass last year. They had amazing support from family and friends, on the website dedicated to managing the help there wasn't even room to sign up to cook dinner for their family of 6. In September, Her sons shaved their heads early in the chemo stages and I joined them for 4 months of baldness in solidarity. The family had the resources, the help and everything necessary so that they could forget about all the small stuff and focus on treatment and recovery 100%. Everyone should have that option and Family Reach helps to make that possible. To this cause I am dedicated to help make it happen.

Kris

Humbled in Austin

Last year I stumbled upon the Tri world and was content with all of the events that took place in and around the Boston Area. While at an EO event, a good friend Dominic C. told me he had just signed up to do a ½ Ironman and it was incomprehensible to me at the time that I could even think of doing one of those. Dominic had just spent time with a bunch of Former Birthing Of Giants graduates at their yearly Gathering of Titans session at MIT. This group had invited him along for the journey and he told me I should give it a try.

I was in a similar program called EMP at MIT and was not sure how a class that had graduated so many years ago would accept a new jack, someone still enrolled, someone far from a titan or giant. Last year that group welcomed me with open arms and yearlong friendships have been formed, this year I came back to race with this group and was just humbled on the generosity and selflessness within the group. What an amazing experience and journey this is turning out to be.

We had 20 plus racers this year, down from last year quite a bit, but no worries with that. There were 4 racers this year who were competing in their first ever TRI event. To start with a ½ Ironman is quite amazing and awe inspiring. All four finished the race in well under the allowed time and all but 2 racers this year personal bested their previous showing here in Austin.

While practice swimming on Saturday, Bobby started to have some difficulty in the water. Open water swimming with a wetsuit can take some getting used to, but after spending 30 or so minutes talking him down and off the ledge Jason and others were able to keep him in the water while getting him a bit more comfortable with the experience. I learned the next morning that Jason who had just finished KONA a week earlier had registered for the race and was planning on swimming with bobby during the race to keep him focused and to get him thru the swim. That’s awesome.

While we posted 2 DNF’s for the day, they are for amazing cause. Jason just swan to make sure Booby could get thru it with out distress, Jack swam it for a workout, having been sidelined for personal reasons. Jack also ran the back half of the race with his sister cheering her on, and by cheering I mean yelling and screaming and pushing her beyond her limits.

It was an amazingly beautiful fall day in Austin, 80 plus degrees in the afternoon and sunny. Such a great day for a race. All of our athletes crossed the finish line and 4 more virgins have been converted to tri addicts for sure. Amy completed her first ½ and is now signed up to do her first full in may in the woodlands, Peter dropped 30 pounds getting ready for this event and wins the award for happiest racers of the day skipping and smiling all the way around the course. Brock made his family proud again with a great race, he claims to ride a maseratti bike with a Yugo engine but I am hear to say Yugo don’t make things that fast. Patrick personal bested his time from last year, all that training during the work day has made him a better athlete and much more focused on the things that matter in the office. Val killed it out their with her training race getting her ready for her first full Ironman in Cozamel this Nov 28^th. How does Tony swim so fast? 30 minutes, are you kidding me. There are more to mention, but the three biggies are Randy Cohen for hosting us all for an amazing BBQ dinner after the race at his wonderful home looking over Lake Travis. Randy I am now a believer, and second is Jack Daly for laying down this as a challenge sometime ago to put together. The biggest props go out to the Abernathy Brothers, Justin and Jason for organizing this and making it all a reality. Congrats to both of them for realizing one of their dreams, the week prior in their finishes at KONA, the Ironman world championships.

Here is looking forward to long continued friendships, many more years of racing together and all the new faces that will join and take on this amazing challenge, journey and experience. I am humbled in the presence of so much love, sharing and selflessness. It's clear that what we do for a living and how big our companies is secondary at best in this group and it is more about who you are and what you are. Thank you for helping to make me a better person, or at least want to become one.